Chapter 32: Affection (4)

He gazed at the porcelain-white bathroom door. Mist swirled across the glass, the warm yellow light inside scattering over its surface, flickering between brightness and shadow. Now and then, the vague outline of a figure seemed to pass behind it.

After watching for a while, he lowered his eyes to the cake he had set in the middle of the floor. Only the corners of the cardboard box had gotten wet. Ye Xiangwan had not bought him the smallest size; instead, it was a six-inch birthday cake.

This flavor was quite good. Once cut open, the melted chocolate filling would pour out, and watching it happen was a pleasure in itself.

He took the knife included in the package. His hand was just about to come down when he stopped it above the cake.

Perhaps he should wait for Ye Xiangwan. Girls probably loved this kind of cake.

With that thought, Feng Jinyan curled up on the sofa and began idly scrolling through his phone.

The room was silent. From the other side of the door nearby came the uneven sound of water striking the floor, mingling with the rain outside.

Before long, the water stopped, and the door was pushed open.

Ye Xiangwan emerged, combing through her hair with her fingers. The damp air had pressed her bangs down over part of her eyes. Tiny droplets gathered along the strands, then slid down the line of her neck and disappeared into her loose white T-shirt, leaving a glimmering trail of moisture behind.

She stood before him, the two drawstrings of her sweatpants loosely knotted and swaying gently.

Who knew where the housekeeper had found these clothes? They were obviously too large for her.

“The key.”

“What?”

Feng Jinyan had not heard her clearly.

“You think you can fool me? You have the key to the dormitory. Give it to me.”

Ye Xiangwan repeated herself and held out one hand.

Feng Jinyan glanced toward the window. Suddenly, the entire dark sky flashed. He frowned, then turned back and seized the still-damp, pliant hand, giving it a sharp tug downward.

Ye Xiangwan had not expected it. Her body swayed, and she fell against Feng Jinyan.

They both froze.

Barely an inch apart, they stared at each other as an ambiguous tension spread between them.

“Don’t leave tonight.”

Feng Jinyan spoke without warning.

Ye Xiangwan hurriedly tried to rise, but he still had her hand in his grasp.

She lowered her eyes to him. The light above was reflected brilliantly in his amber irises. His hand around hers was burning hot, and he showed no intention of letting go. Unaccustomed to it, she struggled slightly.

“Are you still angry?”

Feng Jinyan tightened his grip, a deep crease forming between his brows.

“What I did was wrong, but I apologized… And when have I ever lowered myself to beg anyone? Come on, don’t be angry. Sit down and eat some cake. Don’t all girls like cake?”

As he spoke, he tugged her down again. Caught off guard, Ye Xiangwan bent forward, her T-shirt tracing the slender curve of her arched shoulders and back.

“Is this how you ask someone for a favor? By being domineering?”

“Tch. Ask for a favor?”

Feng Jinyan picked up the plastic knife beside him and forcibly pressed it into her hand.

“Cut the cake for me. I waited for you to come out so we could watch the filling spill together.”

“…”

Ye Xiangwan stood there with a frown.

She had never stayed in someone else’s home before, just as no one had ever entered her territory. Everything was unfamiliar. Nothing felt like hers.

She did not even know how to define her relationship with the person standing before her. He was simply always the one taking the initiative to draw closer, even beginning to force his way into her life.

She looked at the hand he was holding and hesitated for a moment. In the end, she turned around. She did not want to care about anyone else, because sooner or later, she would have to leave.

Then the boy on the sofa sprang forward and wrapped his arms around her waist from behind.

“…What are you doing?”

Ye Xiangwan struggled violently. In all her life, no one had ever treated her this way.

“Let go of me!”

“Why are you reacting so strongly? I’m not going to eat you.”

Feng Jinyan only held her more tightly. He lowered his head slightly, his thin lips close to her ear as he exhaled warmly.

“I really don’t have the key. Stay here tonight, all right?”

The warm breath brushed her ear. His clear, youthful voice carried its heat straight through her eardrum and into her body. Ye Xiangwan turned her head and touched her earlobe. Only after a long moment did she answer, “…Fine. I won’t stay.”

“Really?”

“Let go of me. I’m not used to this.”

“All right.”

Only then did Feng Jinyan release her. He brought the cake over, then pushed the knife and fork into her hands.

“Cut the cake, my front-row seat.”

Ye Xiangwan stared at him speechlessly.

Resigned, she took the cake and utensils. Then she brought the knife down. By that point, the chocolate filling had cooled. It slid out slowly, thick and heavy, spreading gently across the tea-colored plate. One of them lay down while the other sat, and together they watched in silence.

“Feng Jinyan,” Ye Xiangwan said, suddenly turning her head. “What are we now…?”

“Hm?”

Feng Jinyan turned his face toward her, though his eyes remained fixed on the cake.

“What?”

“…Nothing.”

Ye Xiangwan handed him a fork.

“Eat.”

Feng Jinyan suddenly answered her.

“I’ll take the loss. Rounding up, I suppose we can call ourselves friends…”

Outside, the rain grew heavier, as though it had stirred up a vast sheet of white smoke. Amid the downpour, Ye Xiangwan heard the last few words soften into a murmur:

“…Would that be all right?”

Would that be all right…

She did not know. All these years of forced indifference had made Ye Xiangwan build a ravine within herself that was nearly impossible to cross.

But if it was Feng Jinyan…

“You must have a lot of friends, don’t you?”

She looked at the boy still gently prodding the cake with his fork. Someone born with a silver spoon in his mouth could not possibly lack friends.

“…I don’t have any friends.”

Feng Jinyan lowered his eyes and set down the fork.

His eyes were exceptionally beautiful. Their sockets were deep-set, and when he opened them, his eyelids folded into clear creases.

When he faced someone directly, their reflection—and the sunlight—would shine within them, bright and clear. The many emotions held there were always easy to read.

But when he lowered his gaze like this, his long, thick lashes casting a shadow at the corners of his eyes, he seemed faintly lonely despite saying nothing at all.

“You’ve seen it yourself. Our circle is nothing but entangled interests. When people introduce their children to one another, they say, ‘This is the heir of such-and-such a group,’ or ‘That is the daughter of such-and-such a chairman.’ That is our identity. It doesn’t matter if we fail to remember each other’s names. As long as we know whose child the other person is, that’s enough.”

Feng Jinyan had nearly mashed the cake on the plate into paste. Sitting cross-legged and curled up on the carpet, he continued,

“Actually, when we were younger and still fairly ignorant, those our age got along quite well. But once we grew older, we all tacitly kept our distance. So, friends…”

Feng Jinyan gave a derisive snort.

“They don’t exist.”

Ye Xiangwan was silent for a moment. Then she cut another piece of cake, placed it on a plate, and pushed it toward him.

“But… you’re different. You are simply yourself, and in your eyes, I am simply myself.”