Chapter 45: Restrained to the Absolute Limit

Autumn Ming supported Yin Jiaojiao halfway along the path and was already feeling uneasy. Although Peach Blossom Wine was not easy to get drunk on, it was still alcohol, and drinking too much would inevitably lead to intoxication.

“Xia Lan,” Yin Jiaojiao said to her, “I have treated you well, so why have you betrayed me?”

“Princess, I am Autumn Ming.”

“Oh, Autumn Ming,” Yin Jiaojiao blinked slowly. “Autumn Ming, don’t you think Xiao Yuanchi is utterly blind?”

Faced with such a deadly question, Autumn Ming dared not answer even though no one else was around. Half persuading, half deceiving, she guided Yin Jiaojiao toward the East Courtyard.

“Princess, I heard that in front of the gate of Nanshan Temple, there are many stalls selling roasted red fruits. They are delicious.”

Yin Jiaojiao’s attention was diverted, and she said eagerly, “Then let’s buy plenty to take into the temple!”

After wandering all the way back to the East Garden and sending Yin Jiaojiao into her inner chamber, Autumn Ming finally felt at ease to fetch some sobering soup. By then, it was already deep into the night. Bright moonlight streamed softly through the small window, and Yin Jiaojiao gazed at it with regret.

Useless, utterly useless! He clearly didn’t care about you, yet you insisted on pressing your warmth against his cold indifference. Wasn’t that just asking for a cold blow again?

Enough. She had made a fuss and sent him off. She had done all she could. There was probably no one in the world kinder than her. Despite a lifetime of blood feud, at parting, she still worried about his safety. Xiao Yuanchi took advantage of her kindness to bully her without restraint.

Yin Jiaojiao scolded herself and then scolded the man. The wine’s effect made her dizzy and disoriented. After a while, she gathered herself, rubbed her temples, and looked up. In the inner chamber, a bronze lamp shaped like a flying bird flickered faintly. The soft candlelight cast shadows on a figure standing beneath the nearby gauze curtain.

“Autumn Ming?”

She asked tentatively. The figure did not answer but stood neither near nor far. Yin Jiaojiao’s mind drifted between clarity and confusion. She tried again, “Grandmother?”

Still no response, but the figure seemed to move.

Yin Jiaojiao inexplicably felt this was a sign of approval. She smiled brightly. “Grandmother, you came to see me! I’ll tell you, this time I’ve decided to listen to you and no longer pine for Xiao Yuanchi.”

Her grandmother said, “Is that so? When did you come to your senses, Jiaojiao?”

Yin Jiaojiao’s voice grew somber. “After nearly dying once, I realized some things can’t be forced. Why bother? As you said, grandmother, letting him go, there are plenty of good men in the world—any one of them better than him.”

Her grandmother smiled.

“But weren’t you going to take refuge in Buddhism?”

Yin Jiaojiao chuckled. “Just to practice in seclusion, not to ordain. Once my practice is done, I’ll descend the mountain, and then…” She chuckled again. “I’ve done the math, grandmother. With the estates you prepared in my dowry, if I manage them well, I’ll be wealthy for life. With enough money, what kind of good men can’t I find? I’d have ten or eight of them vying for me. Wouldn’t that be delightful?”

Her grandmother seemed stunned by her bold words, speechless for a moment. Yin Jiaojiao hurried to explain, “Just an example, grandmother. I’m different from Xiao Yuanchi. If someone is sincere with me, I’ll be sincere in return. I might not really find ten or eight—if there’s a good one, even one is enough.”

“So you plan to divorce Xiao Yuanchi?”

“No divorce!”

The words slipped out before she could stop them. But then she hesitated. Of course she couldn’t tell her grandmother plainly that she intended to use a third party to get rid of her husband. How could she explain it more tactfully?

Before she could think further, her grandmother said, “If you’ve already decided this, why bother copying sutras to give him?”

Her tone was cold, tinged with anger, as if copying sutras for him was a great offense.

“After all, we’re husband and wife. Even if we’re going to split…” Yin Jiaojiao sighed, “I’m a good person and want to keep some dignity.”

“I see.” Her grandmother slowly smiled coldly. “You planned to use the pretext of seclusion to betray your husband, but conscience caught up with you, so you copied him a sutra to maintain your princess’s dignity.”

Yin Jiaojiao thought, What nonsense is this? Her grandmother really knew how to twist things. She smiled and waved her hand. “Grandmother, you misunderstand. What betrayal…”

But she could say no more. The grandmother who had been there before was suddenly replaced by Xiao Yuanchi standing right in front of her. Her eyes widened, blinking twice. Grandmother? How did it become Xiao Yuanchi?

Wait, Xiao Yuanchi?!

Dressed in a moon-white robe, Xiao Yuanchi looked down on her.

“What misunderstanding?”

Yin Jiaojiao felt as if a bucket of cold water had been dumped over her head.

“Xiao… Xiao Yuanchi?” she stammered. “You said you didn’t want to see me. How come…”

“Changing the subject,” Xiao Yuanchi snorted coldly, leaning down slowly. Yin Jiaojiao smelled a murderous aura. Instinctively, she tried to keep her distance and quietly pulled back the leg dangling off the bed. Unexpectedly, Xiao Yuanchi suddenly grabbed her ankle.

“Trying to run?”

Yin Jiaojiao shook her head and tried to crawl onto the bed, but her ankle was held firmly. Before she could turn, Xiao Yuanchi dragged her back to face him.

“Prince… I’m not trying to run. I just didn’t expect you to come suddenly. It’s… a bit of a surprise.”

“A surprise? I’m very surprised too, Jiaojiao.”

The way he said her name was through gritted teeth. Hearing it made her shudder.

“I was… drunk just now, talking nonsense!”

“Oh?” Xiao Yuanchi moved closer. “Which parts were nonsense?”

“Well…” Yin Jiaojiao hurriedly stopped herself. Seeing his expression, if she repeated anything, she might lose her life on the spot. She had to say, “All of it was nonsense! Don’t believe a word.”

Xiao Yuanchi grew more impatient with her evasive nodding and shook her jaw, gripping her chin.

“Yin Jiaojiao, I’ve never met such a stubborn woman. Crying and throwing tantrums, I want you; scheming and refusing, I still want you! It’s really infuriating!”

“What?”

Xiao Yuanchi pressed closer, a tense line forming along his neck, as if restraining himself to the limit.

“Throwing a fit just to make me see you, now that I’m here, tell me—tonight, what exactly do you want to say?”

His face was tight with anger, eyes burning with fury. Yin Jiaojiao thought it was her drunken rant that upset him, so she hurried to explain.

“I was really drunk just now, mistook you—Prince Xiao Yuanchi. I’m not betraying my husband. I truly want to practice in seclusion. The sutra I gave you is only to ask the Bodhisattva to protect you on your journey.”

“Yin Jiaojiao!”

Xiao Yuanchi’s angry shout cut her off. She rarely saw him so furious. Usually, he was cold and disdainful, wielding his power without anger. What was going on now?

Yin Jiaojiao looked at him timidly, afraid to speak further.

Xiao Yuanchi took a breath and restrained himself again. “I’ll give you one last chance. Since you insisted on seeing me tonight, tell me—why?”

“For…”

She couldn’t say why. She didn’t want to admit how weak she was, how even now she still couldn’t let go. No matter how much she deceived herself, she couldn’t stop wanting to see him once more. At first, she had thought it simple—give him a sutra, say a few kind words, and repay whatever kindness he had shown these past few days. But when she was rejected outside the study, she was angry again.

Angry at what, she didn’t know.

She had given him the book and her blessings. That should have been enough, right? So why feel lost?

“For…”

The wine’s effect surged again, pounding her head, clouding her thoughts. She could think of nothing but the thunderous beating of her heart urging her to explain quickly.

So suddenly, she threw her arms around Xiao Yuanchi and, without a word, pressed her lips to his cold, thin ones.

The kiss was swift, so fast that by the time she realized, it was over.

Damn it, another foolish mistake.

Yin Jiaojiao felt as if struck by lightning, wishing she could turn back time and be reborn.

“Xiao Yuanchi, I… I was really drunk. Don’t ask anymore.”

“…”

Xiao Yuanchi was silent for a moment, then bit his teeth. “Yin Jiaojiao, you brought this on yourself.”