Chapter 17: Heartbeat

Chapter 17

“Don’t misunderstand, it’s not about... sleeping together. There’s no such clause in the marriage agreement,” Gu Shi said, meeting Xuan Congnan’s gaze as he looked at the dinner on the table. “It’s my younger brother. He wants to come visit me in a few days.”

Then he quietly asked, “Is it okay for him to come?”

There were no restrictions on family visits in the agreement, and it was actually Gu Shi’s mother who was urging him to get married.

Xuan Congnan replied, “It’s fine.”

Gu Shi lifted his eyes sharply. “I told my family about our marriage the very day it happened. My mom was very happy and said she wanted to come over. I declined because I didn’t want to inconvenience you, but my brother insisted. He’s a high school freshman and quite rebellious. If he comes and sees us sleeping in two separate bedrooms, he’ll definitely get suspicious.”

The little cake had softened on the way, so Xuan Congnan took the small dolphin decoration off and planned to put it on the desk in the studio. He handed Gu Shi a cake fork and said, “Makes sense.”

His brother would be coming in a few days, so naturally, they had to get familiar with the “intimate” routine in advance.

“Did you agree?” Gu Shi pressed the fork against the cake, hesitant to take a bite.

Xuan Congnan grabbed another fork, took a big bite of cake, and hummed approvingly, “You took so much money from me, and it’s not like you’re doing anything outrageous. Of course I agree.”

He added, “You’ll take the floor mat.”

Gu Shi immediately replied, “Okay.”

To prove he was serious, Gu Shi pulled out his phone, opened a chat window, and handed it over for Xuan Congnan to see.

Gu Jian: [Brother! Brother! Brother brother!]

Gu Jian: [Reply to me, reply to me, reply!]

Gu Jian: [Throwing a tantrum.jpg]

Several cute and kawaii emojis followed.

Gu Shi replied with a single dot.

Gu Jian: [Ahhhh, brother!]

Gu Jian: [I want to come visit you this weekend. Tell me where you are!]

Gu Jian: [Pleaseeee!]

More emojis followed, and Xuan Congnan marveled at how many stickers Gu Jian had.

“He’s pretty cute,” he said.

“Hm?” Gu Shi responded.

It seemed a bit odd to praise the emojis but not the person. Xuan Congnan clarified, “I mean your brother is pretty cute.”

Gu Shi’s hand, which had been hovering over the screen wanting to scroll down, closed the phone, took a big forkful of cake, and said flatly, “Not bad.”

“Hey...” Xuan Congnan watched as Gu Shi swallowed the cake in one bite, then bit the tip of his fork to savor the last sweetness.

After swallowing, Gu Shi said, “Not cute. He talks too much.”

Xuan Congnan: “...Oh.”

Agreeing promptly was one thing, but actually going back to the bedroom to sleep was another. Xuan Congnan watched Gu Shi spread out his own floor mattress on the floor, feeling somewhat awkward.

Besides sleeping in the dormitory at school or sharing a room with others, Xuan Congnan had always slept alone.

When other kids were still clingy to their parents, he had been like a little adult, never crying or fussing. From as far back as he could remember, he had always slept alone, and no one else had ever shared his room.

After laying out the floor mattress, Gu Shi said, “I’m going to my bedroom to wash up.”

Xuan Congnan nodded, “Go ahead.”

Opening the door to the studio, Xuan Congnan placed the little dolphin cake ornament neatly on the desk.

He admired it, saying, “Looks nice.”

Then he hurried back to his bedroom to get his pajamas and take a shower, so that he wouldn’t still be washing when Gu Shi was done, avoiding any awkwardness.

About half an hour later, the bedroom door, left slightly ajar, was knocked on.

Gu Shi stood outside and asked, “Congnan, are you ready?”

Xuan Congnan was drying his hair by the bed. Hearing the knock, he looked over, thinking Gu Shi’s gentlemanly manners wouldn’t let things get awkward.

“Ready,” he answered.

Gu Shi pushed the door open, hugging his own pillow.

Xuan Congnan glanced at him. “Why aren’t you drying your hair?”

“My hair’s short. It’s fine,” Gu Shi said.

“Better to dry it,” Xuan Congnan said. “Don’t sleep with wet hair.”

“Okay.” Gu Shi stood and went back to his bedroom. “I’ll dry it.”

Xuan Congnan thought to tell him there was a hairdryer here, so he could just use it when he was done.

But Gu Shi left quickly, taking long strides out of the room without looking back.

...Looks like he wasn’t the only one feeling awkward.

As usual, they lay down at ten o’clock, but Xuan Congnan stared at the ceiling wide awake. His eyes, adjusted to the darkness, could make out faint shapes. He lay flat on his back with his hands resting on his stomach.

The breathing of the other person in the room was too obvious, disturbing his thoughts.

Having eaten cake that night, the sweetness made his throat feel tight. Xuan Congnan wanted to cough but held it back.

“Want some water?” Gu Shi suddenly asked.

“Ah?” Though he knew there was a second person in the room, Gu Shi’s voice startled Xuan Congnan. “What?”

Gu Shi said, “You keep swallowing.”

Xuan Congnan explained, “I ate something sweet tonight, so my throat feels a bit uncomfortable.”

“I’ll get you some water.” Gu Shi threw back the covers, sat up, and left the bedroom.

Xuan Congnan followed suit, sitting up and turning off the bedside lamp.

Soon, Gu Shi returned and handed him a glass of water.

“Thanks,” Xuan Congnan reached out to take it.

Gu Shi watched him drink, murmuring, “Hmm.”

“You don’t have to say thanks. We’re family,” Xuan Congnan reminded him.

Gu Shi nodded quietly.

A few minutes later, they lay down again. Even after half an hour, Xuan Congnan still couldn’t fall asleep.

“Congnan,” Gu Shi’s voice came from the floor mattress below, both near and far.

“Hmm?” Xuan Congnan responded.

He rolled over to face Gu Shi and saw him lying just as stiffly as he was. His mood eased considerably. “You can’t sleep either?”

“Yeah,” Gu Shi said without moving. “My heartbeat is too loud. Did you hear it?”

Xuan Congnan found it funny. “No.”

Gu Shi seemed relieved. “Good.”

“But you said your heartbeat was too loud—that I heard.”

Curious, Xuan Congnan asked, “Why is your heartbeat so loud?”

After a moment’s thought, Gu Shi said, “Because my heart is healthy.”

“Great.”

“I get a full physical every year, twice a year.”

“Good habit.”

“All my health indicators are very good.”

“Hmm.”

As their back-and-forth conversation continued, Xuan Congnan’s eyelids finally grew heavy and slowly closed.

Gu Shi said, “I’ve never been in a relationship before.”

“Hmm...” Xuan Congnan murmured drowsily, “Noted.”

The quilt rustled softly, and only then did his body seem to release its tension. Gu Shi turned lightly toward him and looked at him just as he was about to fall asleep.

“Good night.”

He whispered a name—not “Congnan.”

In the hazy dreamscape drifting through an endless galaxy, a star flickered, stirring Xuan Congnan’s spirit. It felt as if he was transported back to a long time ago. He wanted to open his eyes to look, but exhaustion forced him to keep them shut.

“...Good night, Gu Shi,” he whispered almost inaudibly.

In his dream, there was a mother with long hair and a father with long hair.

He remembered that his father usually had short hair, like any other man. But for his own reasons, Xuan Congnan had been growing his hair long since he could remember, often misunderstood and mocked by other boys.

“Are you upset, little one? Did someone bully you at school?” After kindergarten, Xuan Yunting would come to pick up Xuan Congnan and poke his soft cheek as he held him.

Xuan Congnan muttered, burying his face in his neck, “I don’t want long hair.”

Xuan Yunting asked, “Did someone call you ‘little one’ again?”

Xuan Congnan didn’t answer.

“The other kids are wrong to bully you; it’s not your fault,” Xuan Yunting gently lifted his son’s face and said, “How about cutting your hair when you’re twelve?”

Xuan Congnan still said nothing.

Xuan Yunting smiled and said, “Daddy has a great idea.”

Xuan Congnan lifted his bright eyes, filled with hopeful stars.

Looking into his eyes, Xuan Yunting happily said, “See? Who says ‘little one’ can’t get angry or happy? You’re amazing.”

He stroked Xuan Congnan’s smooth long hair. “Daddy will grow his hair long with you. Let’s see who dares to say anything.”

The next morning, having overslept by an hour, Xuan Congnan opened his eyes still feeling trapped in a dream, unable to fully come to his senses. He rolled over and buried his face in the pillow of long hair, reluctant to get up.

Gu Shi was already up, the floor mattress folded away, the floor spotless. The aroma of breakfast wafted in from the living room.

“I’m going to the library to review,” Xuan Congnan said after breakfast, packing what he needed into his backpack and slinging it over his shoulder.

Gu Shi followed him to the door, watching him change shoes. Softly, he said, “You won’t ignore my calls today, right?”

His tone was the same as last night. Xuan Congnan blushed and said, “I’ll come back to have lunch with you. Behave.”

Gu Shi stopped complaining immediately. “I’ll be good.”

He had completed a third of the oil painting yesterday and needed to finish the rest today.

“What’s wrong with you? You’ve been spacing out for a while. Do you know you’ve been holding the brush awkwardly for over ten minutes?” Zhang Que bumped Xuan Congnan’s arm. “Rare to see you like this.”

Xuan Congnan came back to himself, frowning. “Your way of talking is weird.”

“Who?” Zhang Que looked around and pointed at himself. “Me?”

“No.” Xuan Congnan shook his head, hearing Gu Shi’s promise to behave again in his mind.

Then his frown relaxed, as if understanding. “It’s me who sounded weird.”

He had told Gu Shi to behave first.

He just didn’t want Gu Shi to feel wronged like last night, without mixing in other emotions.

Everything was normal.

Zhang Que was baffled. “What are you talking about after just one day?”

For lunch, Zhang Que invited Xuan Congnan to eat at the north cafeteria together.

Xuan Congnan refused, saying, “Someone’s waiting for me at home.”

Zhang Que was puzzled. “??? You guys already broke up, right?!”

It was before eight on Saturday morning. Xuan Congnan had just finished washing when a loud pounding came from the living room door.

Hearing the noise, he almost thought it was Xuan Zhuoyao, but Zhuoyao didn’t know his new address, and strangers weren’t allowed into the residential area.

Unless they had informed the security in advance.

“I’ll get it.” Gu Shi came out from the kitchen wearing an apron and headed to the entrance.

“Brother!” An excited shout came into the living room, and Gu Jian suddenly leapt forward. “Brother, I missed you so much!”

Gu Shi held his shoulder with one hand, pushing him back coldly. “No hugs.”

“...Fine, no hugs,” Gu Jian pouted, then his eyes suddenly brightened. “Brother!!!”

This shout wasn’t for Gu Shi but for Xuan Congnan.

Xuan Congnan came out to see who it was and locked eyes with Gu Jian, unsure how to react. He quickly said stiffly, “Hello.”

“Hello, brother!” Gu Jian rushed over to talk to him.

Having grown up close to Gu Shi, Gu Jian was usually the cheerful spirit at home who did whatever he wanted. To him, a hug was a shortcut to getting closer.

Gu Jian tried to hug Xuan Congnan, but just as he stretched his arms out, Gu Shi grabbed the back of his collar tightly, almost choking him.

Gu Shi said coldly, “No hugging.”

But Gu Jian didn’t care. Struggling for breath, he pushed forward like an uncontrollable young golden retriever, joyfully saying, “Brother, you really do have long hair! You look so good! I didn’t believe you when you told me before!”