96 Like It or Not

Fu Zhi did not answer Bei Gong Juechen at once. He looked at the man, the slightly long fringe falling to cover half of his right eye. The man’s face no longer held the pallor it had worn before. He was still the same incomparable Bei Gong Juechen, still so dazzling that one dared not draw near, and yet something was different now. Fu Zhi blinked lightly and said slowly, “Why come to ask me?”

Bei Gong Juechen smiled faintly. “Because of everyone here, I trust you the most.”

He did not speak falsely. He truly trusted Fu Zhi above all others. Fu Zhi’s expression shifted slightly; even his usually tranquil face revealed a faint, shallow smile.

“But you really should not have come to ask me,” he said in a low voice. “I know very little about your affairs. The one who knows you best is Bei Gong Qiyi.”

Bei Gong Juechen let out a mocking laugh. “It is precisely because he knows too much that I cannot ask him.” Besides, the memories that might have been taken from him—perhaps they were the handiwork of that very man.

Bei Gong Juechen rose and walked slowly to the desk. On it still lay a stack of pages Fu Zhi had just copied. He picked up one sheet; Fu Zhi’s handwriting remained as it always had been, lean and elegant, both forceful and free. Bei Gong Juechen pressed his lips together and gave a soft laugh. “You’ve been irritable lately?”

Fu Zhi said nothing, his lips lightly closed. Whenever his heart would not settle, he copied scriptures. The man had lived with him in their youth for so many years, so of course he knew. He really was restless. Ever since the last time the man had been taken away by Bei Gong Qiyi, his heart had never again been at peace. Though he had spoken so grandly to Qi Yong, Fu Zhi understood clearly that the part of him that had never dared to ask for anything had changed the moment he had once possessed the man.

Estimating the thickness of the stack, Bei Gong Juechen said casually, “If you are bored staying here alone, why not go sit at Li Manor for a while? Speaking of which, it has been years since I last drank with you.”

When they were young and idle, the two of them would often brew their own wine to drink. Most of the time, Fu Zhi handled the brewing, while Bei Gong Juechen handled the drinking.

Hearing this, Fu Zhi was also stunned. Ever since Bei Gong Juechen had gone down the mountain, he had never drunk wine again. He had never especially liked wine, but because the one seated across from him was Bei Gong Juechen, he would always accompany him in drinking several cups.

Everything was because of a person. Everything he did was an exception, only because that person was you.

If you do not tell him now, then he will never know how you feel about him. Even if he remembers again in the future, by then your feelings will have been spoken of through someone else’s mouth.

“Juechen, do you like Bei Gong Qiyi?” Fu Zhi asked suddenly.

Bei Gong Juechen froze. The boy had asked him countless times before about liking, but he had never truly considered the question. Did he like Bei Gong Qiyi? He could not help frowning. To tell the truth, Bei Gong Juechen did not really understand what liking felt like, but he was far too indulgent toward Bei Gong Qiyi.

If he merely treated him as a younger brother, how could he have allowed him to behave so recklessly toward him? He himself had once said that blood was thicker than water, and only that. More than that, he and Bei Gong Qiyi were not even related by blood.

The excuse of losing a wager, and the Gu inside his body, were nothing but pretexts. If he truly had not wanted it, he would naturally have had his own way of controlling the worm within him. In the end, the reason his relationship with Bei Gong Qiyi had become what it was today was that he had allowed it, closing one eye while opening the other.

Fu Zhi silently looked at Bei Gong Juechen. He already knew the man’s answer. A trace of bitterness rose in his heart. He still remembered what Bei Gong Qiyi had said to him when he went down the mountain that day: “It is a pity that that man is by nature without heart or feeling. Master’s heartfelt devotion may end up flowing into the river after all.”

Bei Gong Juechen was by nature heartless and unfeeling, and so Bei Gong Qiyi had schemed with every possible means, using any method he could, determined to leave his shadow in that man’s heart. Fu Zhi despised Bei Gong Qiyi’s tactics on one hand, yet on the other hand he admired his boldness. Layer by layer, he had dug a pit before the man and forced him to fall into it.

“Juechen, are you living well now?” Fu Zhi asked again.

Bei Gong Juechen glanced at him in suspicion, then nodded slowly. “Fairly well.”

“No,” Fu Zhi shook his head. “What I mean is, now that you are with Bei Gong Qiyi, is it easier than before?”

Bei Gong Juechen looked at Fu Zhi, as though he wanted to see something from that plain face of his. Yet Fu Zhi’s expression remained utterly calm, so calm that Bei Gong Juechen could almost read a trace of loneliness in it.

His thick eyelashes lowered slowly. After thinking for a moment, Bei Gong Juechen gave a slight nod. “Indeed.”

Fu Zhi’s expression remained flat. He was no longer looking at Bei Gong Juechen; instead, his gaze had drifted to the window. There had once been a rocking chair there. Once, a man had lain in that chair. But that person would never again be his. Never again.

Fu Zhi closed his eyes. Bei Gong Juechen had been watching him all along. They had grown through their youth together, known each other for so many years, yet he had never once seen such an expression on Fu Zhi’s face before. Such a pained expression.

So sorrowful, so lonely, that Bei Gong Juechen could not help stepping forward and gently patting his shoulder.

Fu Zhi gave a low sigh. He lifted his eyes to look at Bei Gong Juechen and suddenly said, “Perhaps I should be as bold as he is...”

The wine cups were scattered across the table. Chu Muji drank alone, sullenly. Today he had sold himself, only to be abandoned by the one who had bought him. Truly ungrateful, and consumed by lust to the point of disowning friends! Chu Muji cursed inwardly, but he had not expected Bei Gong Qiyi to actually return.

Chu Muji clutched his cup and stared wide-eyed at the person who sat down opposite him. Bei Gong Qiyi poured himself a cup of wine and smiled. “I was gone only for a moment, and you’ve already turned stupid?”

Chu Muji swallowed and asked blankly, “Y-you came back again?”

Bei Gong Qiyi took a sip of wine, casually peeled a peanut, and tossed it into his mouth. “I only said I had something to do and would step out for a while. I never said I wasn’t coming back.”

There was only one dish on the table: a plate of peanuts that had almost been finished, which looked rather shabby. Chu Muji asked, “Should I order a few dishes? I didn’t order food just now because I was waiting for you to do it. I didn’t expect you to come with your elder brother, and I got flustered and forgot.”

Bei Gong Qiyi waved a hand. “No need. Did you think I really came back just to drink with you?”

Chu Muji shook his head. “I knew long ago you weren’t that kind. Seeing me drink alone and feeling sorry for me—say it, what do you want to ask?”

“Your father wants to step down after some time, does he not?” Bei Gong Qiyi narrowed his eyes and asked.

Chu Muji smiled as he poured himself another cup. “As expected, nothing escapes you. Father is loyal to the present sovereign and does not want to be drawn into this struggle for succession.”

“But even if your father wants to retire, there are plenty of people in the Prime Minister’s residence watching it like wolves,” Bei Gong Qiyi said slowly, his hands clasped together.

Chu Muji looked at him and thought for a moment, lips pressed together. “Do you mean to have me persuade my father to come back?”

“No.” Bei Gong Qiyi shook his head. His interlaced fingers rubbed lightly against one another. The boy lifted the corners of his mouth in a brilliant smile and said softly, “Your uncle is not young anymore. Since he wishes to retire, let him retire. As for the power of the Prime Minister’s residence...” His narrow phoenix eyes slowly narrowed. Bei Gong Qiyi reached out and lightly tapped Chu Muji’s left hand. “In time, someone else will take it over, will they not?”

Chu Muji lowered his eyes to the pale hand resting atop his own and said slowly, “You of all people really think too highly of me, Bei Gong. Don’t forget, I still have two clever and capable brothers ahead of me.”

The curve of the boy’s lips rose even higher, beautiful and enigmatic. “Chu Muxuan and Chu Muying are indeed clever and capable, but only clever. The Chu family, however, still has one genius not yet born. I think Lord Prime Minister should understand better than outsiders who is truly able to take hold of the power in the Prime Minister’s residence.”

“A genius not yet born? Why have I never heard that my Chu family had such a person?” Chu Muji asked, pretending surprise.

Bei Gong Qiyi raised a hand at random and pointed upward. “Far away, yet right in front of your eyes.”

“Tsk, tsk. Bei Gong really does flatter me. How could I possibly count as some genius? I am nothing more than a fool,” Chu Muji said with a smile and a shake of his head.

Bei Gong Qiyi looked at him with that bewitching smile of his and said lightly, “Great wisdom often appears foolish. Otherwise Zhao Yixiao would not have gone to such lengths to bring you under his command.”

At the mention of Zhao Yixiao, Chu Muji’s eyes lit up. He leaned in toward Bei Gong Qiyi with a sly smile. “Bei Gong, I think the second prince looks at you rather differently.”

Bei Gong Qiyi blinked. “What, jealous?”

As he spoke, he reached out and lifted Chu Muji’s chin, then slowly exhaled toward him. In a low voice, Bei Gong Qiyi said, “Do not fall in love with me. My heart belongs only to my elder brother.”

Chu Muji slapped his hand away at once and rubbed the gooseflesh from his arm. “Bei Gong Qiyi, aren’t you a little too full of yourself? Compared with rigid men, I still prefer soft and lovely girls.” He said this while lowering his head in visible disgust, yet the instant he looked down, a flicker of complicated emotion passed through his eyes.

Chu Muji was a clever man. He admitted that at one moment, he had indeed been moved by the boy before him. That was only natural. Bei Gong Qiyi wore a face that could drive the whole world mad. But he was a clever man. He understood perfectly well that all of Bei Gong Qiyi’s affection, his entire heart, had already been given wholly to the man who was as dazzling as he himself.

Rather than not even managing to remain friends, it was better to stay silently by his side and be the one who could hear him speak his heart. In that respect, Chu Muji was rather special in Bei Gong Qiyi’s eyes.

Chu Muji lowered his head and smiled faintly, though an inerasable bitterness was hidden within it. Bei Gong Qiyi was clever too. He knew it, yet did not expose it. Instead, he made use of those feelings of his. Truly, he was of the Bei Gong family—cold in spirit, cold in heart.

He raised his head to look at the boy before him, whose smile could bewitch hearts, and suddenly asked, “I feel that Manor Lord Bei Gong seems to have forgotten some things. Bei Gong, this was your doing, was it not?”