Chapter Forty-Seven: Metaphysics

“Listening to you, it almost sounds like Xu Wenrui’s life hasn’t been easy at all!” Yan Xue feigned surprise. “From what I’d heard before, I thought he was one of those worry-free golden boys, the kind everyone refers to as ‘the perfect child’!”

“Exactly! I’m not surprised you all thought that—I used to think the same way,” Deng Chun replied, her face shadowed with sadness. “It’s only after being with him that I discovered all the unseen hardships he endured, and that made me ache for him even more. I wanted to treat him well, so he wouldn’t have to shoulder so much pressure alone anymore.

Xu Wenrui’s parents always liked to set all kinds of goals for him—what they thought was good and right. Not only that, but they loved to compare him to others. If he came out on top, he was their darling: rewarded with new toys, taken out to play, given everything he wanted, feeling cherished and adored.

But if, by chance, someone else’s child outshone him, Xu Wenrui was in trouble. He’d go home and face relentless criticism from his mother, as if there wasn’t a single thing about him that was right—nothing was good enough.

He told me that’s when he slowly realized: only when he was better than all his peers would his mother love him, like him, treat him especially well, and only then would life feel comfortable.

Then, by that logic, shouldn’t Xu Wenrui have had a pretty good life? He can sing and dance—surely he was one of the stars among his peers?”

“That’s right. Xu Wenrui understood the game, so he started seeking the path most advantageous to him. He noticed he had a knack for singing and dancing. Maybe not enough to beat the professionals, but certainly good enough to stand out among ordinary people. Plus, he was tall and handsome, so whenever he showed off his talents at family gatherings or among his parents’ friends, no other child could easily outshine him. Winning became easy.

He called it playing to his strengths against others’ weaknesses—using the flashiest method to get the best results, earning himself better treatment and letting his parents feel proud in front of others.”

As Deng Chun spoke, Yan Xue recalled Xu Wenrui’s counselor’s lament: the counselor regretted that Xu Wenrui spent so much time on extracurricular activities, and as a result, his studies suffered to some extent. The counselor thought Xu Wenrui was so smart that it was a case of sacrificing the greater good for the lesser.

Now, in light of Deng Chun’s words, it all seemed much clearer.

“Xu Wenrui really cares about appearances. If I had to complain about something, it would be that. But it’s not that I mind him being vain—I just feel sorry that he can never let himself relax. No matter what he’s doing, he always thinks first about what others will say about him. It’s exhausting.

He knows it’s tiring, but he can’t break the habit. He says that when he’s with me, I always appreciate him for who he is, accept him, never criticize or force him. Being with me is relaxing and comfortable, and I help ease the pressure his parents put on him, so he doesn’t feel so burdened.

But his parents never once thought about their son’s feelings—all they care about is their own pride. They don’t care whether he finds a partner who suits him; all they want is to show off in front of their friends and relatives!”

“That’s human nature. No matter how selfless someone seems, their thoughts always begin with themselves. That’s not surprising. By the way, when did you and Xu Wenrui break up?” Kang Ge, after expressing his understanding, suddenly asked.

When Deng Chun heard the question, her gaze wavered, but she chose to ignore it and continued, “Before Xu Wenrui and I got together, breaking up with Wu Beibei had dampened his mood, so he wasn’t in a great state.

After we got together, I took care of him in every way, and he visibly improved—looked healthier, more confident and energetic! But then his parents started interfering, trying to break us up, which put pressure on him again. Later, Wu Beibei started harassing him for a while, which affected him emotionally too.

Xu Wenrui really was pitiful, carrying so much pressure and emotion on his own. If I could’ve stayed by his side, he would’ve remained in good spirits. Who knows, maybe everything would still be fine now, with nothing having happened at all.”

“Why do you think what happened to Xu Wenrui is connected to his emotional state?” Yan Xue asked.

Deng Chun was taken aback. “I… I’m just repeating what others said. There were rumors—some said he killed himself, some said he was hurt by someone jealous. I don’t know what to believe, but I think it must have something to do with his state of mind and the pressure he was under. Isn’t that possible?”

“There’s no right or wrong answer—I was just asking,” Kang Ge replied with a grin, sidestepping the question. “So after you broke up, did Xu Wenrui get back together with Wu Beibei?”

“No!” Deng Chun immediately denied it, her tone firm. “He’s smart—he wouldn’t fall into the same trap twice. He was the one who dumped Wu Beibei in the first place. It just hurt his pride and affected his mood, but after we got together, he realized what kind of relationship he really needed.

Was it Wu Beibei who told you otherwise? Did she say they got back together? Nonsense—she’s full of lies! Once love dies, it’s like a person dying; even if there’s longing, you can never bring it back to life! Xu Wenrui would never be fooled by a girl like her again!”

“A girl like her? Fooled?” Yan Xue picked up on a hint. “You mean to say Wu Beibei’s character is questionable? What kind of girl is she? You said she fooled Xu Wenrui—what do you mean by that?”

“It’s nothing. Men—no matter how smart—can be foolish sometimes, fooled by a pretty face, thinking that good looks mean everything else must be good too. They never consider that a pretty girl might not just be empty-headed, but rotten to the core!” Deng Chun said bitterly.

After she finished, she glanced at Yan Xue and hesitated, as if realizing her words had cast a wide net. She quickly added, “Don’t take it personally! I wasn’t talking about you—you’re a police officer, you’re different!”

Yan Xue smiled and let it go. Deng Chun’s attempt to excuse herself was flimsy, but it didn’t matter. Even if Deng Chun had included her in the criticism, Yan Xue wouldn’t have cared.

“After you and Xu Wenrui broke up, did you two keep in touch privately?” she asked. “How much do you know about his recent situation before the incident?”

“He… was doing fine…” Deng Chun’s gaze grew evasive under Yan Xue’s questioning. “He’d been busy lately—graduation’s approaching, after all. He has to plan for his future. With his parents’ high expectations, the pressure never let up, so he was probably focused on finding a job and couldn’t join as many activities as before.”

“After you broke up, without your meticulous care, could Xu Wenrui still manage on his own?” Kang Ge teased. “Didn’t Zhuang Fukai say Xu Wenrui was struggling after you two split?”

“Zhuang Fukai? Why would I ask him about Xu Wenrui? We only met a couple of times in Wenrui’s dorm—we’re not close!” Deng Chun sounded baffled. “I took care of Xu Wenrui because I loved him—it made me happy!

His accepting my care was his way of showing he cared too. How could you make him sound like he was useless? I can’t accept you saying that about him—not before, and now that he’s gone, it’s even more unacceptable.”

“Hey, that wasn’t my intention! I admit I spoke out of turn—my apologies.” Kang Ge offered a sincere apology, and Deng Chun, not wanting to make things awkward, nodded lightly to show it was fine.

Yan Xue watched the exchange. When the apologies were said and accepted, she finally spoke, studying Deng Chun as she asked, “I have a question—if I’m out of line, I truly don’t mean to offend. But I can’t help noticing that when you talk about your relationship with Xu Wenrui, you don’t seem especially sad.

Hmm… maybe that’s not the right way to put it. I mean, from the moment we started talking until now, it seems like what saddens you most is that you two didn’t end up together, didn’t marry and build a life after graduation. As for Xu Wenrui’s death… you seem to have accepted it with surprising calm.”

“What do you expect?” To Yan Xue’s surprise, Deng Chun responded serenely instead of angrily. “Should I die for love to prove my feelings for him were genuine and deep?

I doubt I’ll ever love anyone so wholeheartedly again. After all, the strength one has to love in a lifetime is limited—once it’s spent, it’s gone for good. I’m deeply pained that our relationship was destroyed by his parents, because that was entirely avoidable. If Xu Wenrui were still here, there’d still be hope, but now there’s none left, and that’s why I grieve.

His death hurts me, but we truly loved each other once. That love and those beautiful memories—death can’t take them from me. Even though Xu Wenrui is gone, the joy he brought me is forever vivid in my mind, untouchable and irreplaceable.”

Kang Ge, after listening, slowly shook his head and clapped. “I’ll say it again—you really should have studied philosophy!”

Deng Chun seemed a bit embarrassed by the compliment. “Really? Maybe I do have a knack for it. I suppose I should find some philosophy books and study more systematically.”

Before leaving, Deng Chun gave her contact information to Yan Xue and Kang Ge, assuring them that if they needed anything, she’d help without hesitation. As she left, she asked Yan Xue to try persuading Xu Wenrui’s parents to let her visit them—just once—to do one last thing for the man she once loved and to show some care for his family.

After Deng Chun left, Yan Xue finally let out a long sigh and said to Kang Ge, “This Deng Chun isn’t at all like I’d imagined. Apparently, Zhuang Fukai’s take on her wasn’t accurate either!

But honestly, you praised her twice—saying she’s suited for philosophy. What did you really mean by that? It didn’t sound like you were complimenting her insight!”

“You’re right, it wasn’t a compliment about depth of thought,” Kang Ge replied with a sly grin. “What I meant is, everything she told us about Xu Wenrui, all her emphasis, had a whiff of metaphysics—no objective facts, just a heap of subjective speculation!”

“Ha! Talking to you really requires sharp ears and a nimble mind, or it’s hard to tell if you’re praising or mocking someone!” Yan Xue couldn’t help but laugh, fully agreeing with Kang Ge’s assessment.

“Not at all!” Kang Ge shook his head. “It’s actually very simple. When I’m genuinely complimenting someone, I say it plainly. As for the things that sound ambiguous, not quite praise and not quite sarcasm—just use process of elimination. Remove the wrong answer and you’ll know.”

“That makes perfect sense!” Yan Xue laughed. She found Kang Ge’s company genuinely pleasant—conversation was easy, even a little in sync. “You summed it up well. When Deng Chun talked about her and Xu Wenrui, it sounded convincing at first, but really, it was all her own feelings and guesses—very little solid fact at all!”

“No facts to support her claims—just wishful thinking based on emotion. That’s called conjecture,” Kang Ge mused, propping his head on one hand, his long forefinger gently tapping his temple. “And isn’t it interesting—Deng Chun says she barely knows Zhuang Fukai, yet Zhuang Fukai knows all about her ‘model wife and mother’ persona, and their views on women’s roles are so aligned. Don’t you think that’s curious?”