Chapter Fifty-Seven: His Redemption
Tailing Spoon guessed that the relationship between Xingyuan and Feng Jinye was anything but ordinary. She had only thought of the Feng family, never considering the maternal side of Feng Jinye’s lineage…
Cangyuan and Xingyuan both originated from the Xuanyuan family—one was the elder sister’s sword, the other the younger’s. It all made perfect sense, and yet Tailing Spoon hadn’t considered it…
Indeed, love renders people numb. When Feng Jinye had said that sword was not Cangyuan, Tailing Spoon’s heart had instinctively refused the truth she didn’t wish to accept…
Everyone seeks fortune and avoids disaster, embracing only what they wish to believe.
Tailing Spoon asked, “So, you suspect too that the deaths of Father and Mother are tied to this aunt?”
“Yes,” Feng Jinye nodded and answered in a low voice.
“Why are you telling me all this now?” Tailing Spoon was puzzled; had Feng Jinye not kept these secrets from her all along?
After returning from Qinglan Courtyard, Feng Jinye had thought for half a day without finding answers, and finally decided to confess to Tailing Spoon. With her intelligence, she would inevitably uncover question after question; in the end, she would have to know everything.
Feng Jinye pressed his face gently to Tailing Spoon’s loose hair, his voice choked, “That day, I failed to protect Qingxuan. I fear, one day, I may not be able to protect you either.”
Tailing Spoon suddenly realized that what had happened to Feng Qingxuan was far more complex than she’d imagined, if Feng Jinye blamed himself so deeply…
“Will you tell me?” Tailing Spoon asked softly.
Feng Jinye sighed quietly. “It was I who told Qingxuan to climb that tree…”
“It was also I who told her to hide in that ruined temple…”
“In that temple, Qingxuan encountered a mad beggar who tore her clothes to shreds…”
As Feng Jinye spoke in an even tone, Tailing Spoon could see the agitation in his chest, his fists clenched so tightly that his nails dug into his flesh…
Tailing Spoon trembled from head to toe, unable to offer any words of comfort. She reached out, pried open Feng Jinye’s fingers one by one, and placed her own hand in his, threading her fingers through his and holding tight…
She was overwhelmed with sorrow and buried her face in his shoulder, struggling to hold back tears…
Her heart ached for him—fourteen years ago, Feng Jinye had been but eleven, just a child…
Since when had he begun reading military texts? What battle experience could he have had at eleven? Both teams of shadow guards had perished. How had he managed to keep Qingxuan alive? The answer was plain…
Tailing Spoon could not help but recall a winter’s day a year past—Xiyan’s imperial capital, the snowy grounds of Modo Medicine Palace, stained red…
Feng Jinye stared dazedly at the slender hand entwined with his…
He had never spoken of those days to anyone, yet today, unbidden, he confessed what he had kept buried for so long. She was, indeed, his salvation…
Feng Jinye released his other fist and gently stroked Tailing Spoon’s falling hair…
She remained buried in his shoulder, still wounded today. Feng Jinye feared moving her head would aggravate her injury, and surmised she must be crying again…
“Qingxuan was badly frightened then…” Feng Jinye continued, “It was I who scared her…”
As a youth, he had thought that arrows could not reach a hundred paces, thus Qingxuan would be safe. He never imagined a mad beggar would be lurking in the ruined temple…
Little Qingxuan’s sobs woke the beggar, who, in a frenzy, attacked her…
Feng Jinye had killed every assassin, and upon rushing back to the temple, found Qingxuan’s outer robe in tatters…
Like a raging lion, Feng Jinye charged forward and slew the beggar with a single stroke, but in his fury, he did not stop there…
“I lost my mind that day…I don’t even know how many times I killed him…” Feng Jinye recalled slowly.
—
“…until I hacked off his hands,” Feng Jinye paused, “and then I heard Qingxuan scream again…”
“It was I who frightened her!” Feng Jinye’s self-reproach was boundless.
At the time, little Qingxuan stared at the severed hands, trembling with horror and shrieking uncontrollably…
In Qinglan Courtyard, in her dreams, Feng Qingxuan saw those bloody hands, and herself at eight, climbing the tree with bloodied hands…
A piercing scream came from the inner room; Yun Ming rushed in at once…
Feng Qingxuan woke with a start. Yun Ming hurried to embrace her. “Don’t be afraid! It was only a dream… just a dream…”
He had lost count of how many times he had soothed her thus.
When Feng Jinye had brought Qingxuan to the Marquis of Xibo’s residence, he collapsed upon seeing Yun Ming.
“If I die, you will be Qingxuan’s elder brother…” Feng Jinye said, and then passed out completely.
Feng Jinye was gravely wounded and unconscious, Qingxuan severely ill, plagued by nightmares night after night, crying out for “Brother” in her sleep…
With Feng Jinye’s fate uncertain, Yun Ming could only pretend to be him, comforting Qingxuan…
She did not improve until the arrival of Huangfu Chen…
Yun Ming was always struck by how much Huangfu Chen resembled Tailing Spoon—both seemed capable of anything, just as he had saved Feng Jinye countless times.
Fourteen years ago, when Feng Jinye was gravely wounded, it was Huangfu Chen who saved him…
Twelve years ago, outside Yue City, during an assassination attempt, Huangfu Chen took both a sword and an arrow for Feng Jinye…
Seven years ago, Huangfu Chen fell into a coma and nearly died after taking a poisoned arrow for Feng Jinye…
And a year ago, he and Tailing Spoon had plotted together…
But this time, why had Huangfu failed to protect Qingxuan? What had happened between them?
In Yun Ming’s arms, Feng Qingxuan paused, then asked solemnly, “Are you Qingxuan’s brother Yun Ming?”
“You know Qingxuan?” Yun Ming asked.
“She lives in this body, and so does Mian Yin!” Feng Qingxuan replied…
Since the real Enchantress had appeared, “Enchantress” had been constantly questioning her own identity, pondering for a long time, until she realized that three people lived within her body…
“And you are…” Yun Ming knew that whoever was before him was still Feng Qingxuan, but he could not call out the Enchantress’s name…
The Enchantress suddenly pushed Yun Ming away and snapped, “Get out!”
Yun Ming understood that no matter which personality surfaced, it was always Feng Qingxuan, and that she was not the ruthless Enchantress others feared, but the one seen through Qingxuan’s eyes…
“Very well. Brother Yun Ming will leave now,” he said gently.
Feng Qingxuan paused, glanced at Yun Ming thoughtfully, then noticed the lamp in the room—it seemed some time had passed…
Deep into the night, another thought occurred and she called Yun Ming back: “Take me to see Tailing Spoon!”
Yun Ming hesitated. Now that everyone knew she was Qingxuan, neither Feng Jinye nor Tailing Spoon would harm her. But was she planning another assassination?
“Very well,” Yun Ming remembered what Tailing Spoon had said: to gain the trust of every personality.
—
In Feng Qingxuan’s eyes, the Enchantress was a killer, an elder sister sworn to protect her younger sibling, a woman ruthless to the core…
And the Enchantress’s target was Tailing Spoon herself.
Inside Zhi Yu Tower, Tailing Spoon was carefully analyzing Feng Qingxuan’s condition…
With Feng Jinye’s cooperation, she had a new theory: “I believe the Enchantress is your shadow, while Mian Yin is like the childhood Qingxuan…”
“In Qingxuan’s heart, you are the one who can protect her best!” Tailing Spoon looked into Feng Jinye’s eyes and said firmly, “You kept her safe!”
That assertion startled Feng Jinye, yet he remained doubtful and said nothing.
“Feng Jinye, you must not let yourself be defeated by guilt. That night’s bloody battle—there were countless horrors that could traumatize an eight-year-old girl. In a world where killing is met with more killing, if you hadn’t fought, how would you or Qingxuan have survived? None of it was your fault!”
“Feng Jinye, do you remember when I tried to assassinate you?” Tailing Spoon demanded, “Didn’t it hurt?”
“If that sword had gone an inch deeper, you’d have died. You’re not invincible, not all-powerful!”
“Don’t believe you’re made of iron simply because others call you a god of war!”
Excited, Tailing Spoon turned, pulling at her wound; with a sharp gasp, tears welled in her eyes…
Feng Jinye had been listening intently to her impassioned words when he saw her tears, and she murmured, “It just hurts…”
His heart twisted—she always claimed it was “just pain,” but if she truly feared pain, how could she have swallowed that antidote, or cut herself so deeply?
A tinge of bitterness filled Tailing Spoon’s heart. “Four years ago, at the Mid-Autumn Lantern Festival, I was poisoned by a dart—it was you who saved me!”
“You’ve protected me many times; I want to protect you too!” She didn’t want to speak of the past Feng Jinye could not recall, yet could not help herself…
“Perhaps Qingxuan once felt the same. She didn’t want you always shielding her, didn’t want to see you wounded time and again, didn’t want to watch you bear all the suffering alone!”
Today, Tailing Spoon’s heart had been twisted over and over. Feng Jinye grieved for Qingxuan—but who had ever grieved for Feng Jinye?
To lose both parents overnight—an eleven-year-old boy forced to grow up in an instant. Had he hesitated even a moment, both siblings would have perished.
Feng Jinye was silent for a long time, then said quietly, “I understand.”
Tailing Spoon pouted, caught his hand, turned away, and closed her eyes to sleep.
Feng Jinye closed his eyes as well, resting. In less than a quarter hour, he sensed someone approaching and withdrew his hand from hers.
Tailing Spoon frowned in her sleep. Feng Jinye bent and gently lifted her, laying her back on the bed.
There was no more avoiding it—the siblings would have to face each other sooner or later.
Stepping into the outer room, Feng Jinye came face to face with Yun Ming and Feng Qingxuan.
She saw him, pursed her lips, and glanced to the side.
Feng Jinye studied her closely—her every movement was identical to his sister’s. She was vexed by his presence in Zhi Yu Tower.