I want to be the woman who responds to miracles, so that he might turn around and truly see me.

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[August 2]
Today marks one month since he and I officially began dating.
Looking back on this past semester, everything feels almost unreal—how could I have truly accepted his feelings?
I know that I am in no position to do so, that I shouldn’t have accepted him, or anyone’s confession.
Yet, after these months together, I’ve come to believe that beneath his surface lies a delicate and fragile soul—a quality I simply cannot leave behind.
Unwittingly, I’ve been drawn into the whirlpool called love.
Summer break has finally arrived, and I’ve decided to chronicle our very first summer together.
Will this become the most youthful and vibrant memory of my high school years?
I hope so.
From tomorrow on, we can go on dates openly, without hiding.
I never imagined I would fall for someone, and yet here I am, feeling so giddy, my heart fluttering non-stop.
Is this what it feels like to be in love?
How incredible it is.
……
[August 4]
Today, we went together to the Sunshine Aquarium in Ikebukuro. The penguins were absolutely adorable—I never knew they would swim right above your head. It was truly amazing.
And yet, after being away from him for just a short while—just a quick trip to the restroom—I returned to find him being approached by a trio of young women.
I cannot quite put into words what I felt at that moment. It was as if a mischievous child from a relative’s family had burst into my room, grabbing the teddy bear beside my pillow, cradling it tenderly as if she were its rightful companion each night.
I was deeply aggrieved. I wanted to march over and confront them, but then I saw him turn away without a backward glance and walk straight to me. That smile of his nearly made my heart stop.
It was as though he’d placed my heart in a hot air balloon, lifting me gently to the highest sky, the sudden rush of weightlessness wrapping me in sweet embrace.
Perhaps it’s because we’re never overly affectionate at school that, on our dates, I find myself clinging to him without realizing it. Although I’m a year older than he is, I never knew I had this side to me.
What made me even shyer was when, as we lay side by side in the planetarium, surrounded by the gorgeous, endless stars, he quietly took my hand.
I snuck a glance at him—his faintly blushing cheeks were simply adorable.
And—this was our first time holding hands.
Oh… Even now, as I hold my pen to write these words, I can still feel the lingering warmth of his palm. How embarrassing.
I don’t think I’ll ever forget what happened today.
I have a good memory. I’m certain I’ll never forget.
……
[August 8]
Today, while we were out together, we almost ran into some classmates from school. He had been holding my hand, but then he let go.
I was deeply hurt, but I couldn’t blame him.
At school, he never initiates conversation with me; it’s always me dragging him to the cafeteria.
I know he doesn’t want my reputation at school to be affected.
If only I could erase everyone’s prejudice against him.
He’s such a gentle person.
No… Perhaps that’s just an excuse. Maybe I’m only afraid of the stares people would give us.
Thinking about it that way, I feel like a scheming, unkind woman.
I’ve resolved that, if there’s a next time, before he lets go of my hand, I will hold his tightly.
……

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[August 11]
On the way home after our date, he kissed me.
It was my first kiss.
It didn’t seem to be his.
……
[August 12]
Mother said we’re having dinner with that family at the end of the month.
It felt as though I was suddenly shaken awake from a dream.
Should I tell him?
I really am too selfish.
……
[August 13]
During our date, he noticed how distracted I was.
He’s always watched me so closely, always attentive to everything about me, yet I keep deceiving him.
I can’t be honest with him—I can’t say it, can’t tell him that I have a fiancé.
It seems I had already forgotten.
Every day spent in love with him has made me so happy, I lost myself.
……
[August 14]
If only I weren’t a child of the Hoshinomori family.
……
[August 15]
Tsukikun…
……
[August 16]
Tsukikun…
……
[August 17]
Tsukikun…
……
[August 18]
Had a huge argument with Mother.
I’ve decided I’ll confess everything to him tomorrow, and I’m prepared for him to hate me.
……
[August 19]
Save me.
Tsukikun…
……
[August 20]
It feels as though my world is spinning upside down. The dreary existence I had grown used to was suddenly dyed a dazzling pink.

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I don’t even remember how I made it home, only that the emptiness inside me has been filled to the brim by this love of sixteen and seventeen.
His smile, his words, his embrace.
His touch, his warmth—they feel as though they’re etched into my very being, destined never to fade from memory.
I once thought of myself as an empty doll, often wondering why he would love someone like me.
If he only cared for this outer shell, why would he have pushed me away then?
From him, I gained courage, dreams, and love.
I long to answer him, to show him.
To let him see Hoshinomori Hoshino responding to a miracle.
……
[August 22]
I did it.
I truly did it.
From now on, can I control my own life?
Yet, I am still a little afraid.
Without my parents’ guidance, without their arrangements, can I really make decisions for myself?
At just seventeen, do I truly have the right to choose my own path?
For now, I don’t know.
But as long as I think of him by my side, I feel so much stronger.
……
[August 25]
Today, we watched the fireworks festival together. He looked so handsome in his yukata.
And so, among the crowd, I kissed him—unable to help myself.
I have even resolved to entrust my life to him.
Oh… What should I do?
If every day in the rest of my life could be this happy, I fear I might drown in this happiness.
……
……
Late at night, as silence settled over the room, the girl sat at her desk, her long, sky-blue hair loosely tied and resting quietly on her chest.
Page after page, she turned through the diary, as if immersed in a beautiful fairy tale.
It was a most peculiar sensation; though she had no memory of the contents, the words made her heart leap and ache with jealousy by turns, as if another girl named Hoshinomori Hoshino, caught in the throes of first love, had come alive before her eyes.
So vivid, so overwhelming was the immersion.
She turned to the final page, her gentle gaze fading into shadow.
These past days, she had leafed through this diary countless times.
Her slender fingers traced the deeply pressed words, as though she could truly feel the sorrow and pain that lay behind the writing.
……
[August 28]
He broke up with me.