Chapter Sixty-Six: Do You Take Me for a Fool?

When Wu Rong’er threatened to report her, Liu Ling’er saw the panic drain all color from her face, and that she had even started to think up ways to punish herself. If it hadn’t been a bustling street, Wu Rong’er would have burst into laughter, hand over her mouth. Though Liu Ling’er’s behavior seemed to border on self-sabotage, Wu Rong’er was half-convinced, half-doubtful. “A good dog doesn’t block the way. Tell me what you suggest. If your idea isn’t bad…” She hadn’t finished when Liu Ling’er leaned in, lips close to her ear, and mocked, “Wu Rong’er, are you out of your mind? You think I’d tell you a way to deal with me? Do you take me for a fool?”

“You—!” Wu Rong’er’s angry retort was cut short as Liu Ling’er swiftly pressed a point, sealing her acupoint. Grabbing Wu Rong’er, Liu Ling’er turned to the eunuch waiting nearby and said, “Esteemed sir, Her Highness has much to discuss with me. She’s decided to visit the Prince of Virtue’s residence first, so you may return for now!”

Without sparing a glance for the wide-eyed Wu Rong’er, Liu Ling’er half-embraced her, and the two disappeared from the eunuch’s sight as if they were dear friends arm-in-arm. The eunuch was dumbfounded, the guards were lost, and the sedan bearers stood in utter confusion. They had been instructed only to escort Lady Rong back to her family—now that she was gone, what were they supposed to do?

All eyes turned to the chief eunuch, who quickly regained his wits. “What are you all staring at me for? Go to Lady Wu’s family and report at once! Go inform His Majesty!”

Back at the Prince’s residence, Liu Ling’er took Wu Rong’er straight to the rear garden. There was a fishpond there, not as grand as the general’s manor’s lake, but still no mere puddle, filled with many dazzling goldfish. Liu Ling’er had passed this spot before and remembered it well for the beauty of the fish—she hadn’t expected it would come in handy today.

In the center of the water stood a stone or two protruding above the surface. Liu Ling’er seized Wu Rong’er, and with a deft display of lightness skills, leaped across the shimmering pond, their toes barely brushing the water as they landed atop the stone.

Wu Rong’er was stupefied. Was this really Liu Ling’er, that good-for-nothing neither scholar nor warrior? How could she possess such remarkable agility? It must be an illusion!

But when Liu Ling’er pressed another point on her, reality set in. She was being held like a helpless chick, her face barely a foot from the water, her hair already submerged.

Though Wu Rong’er had clawed her way to the position of Noble Consort through cunning and ruthlessness, she was, at heart, still a woman—frail and unskilled in physical arts. In this predicament, her nerves failed her completely, and she shrieked in terror.

“Ah! Liu Ling’er, what are you trying to do? Let me go at once or I’ll break your legs myse—glug glug—” Before she could finish her threat, several mouthfuls of water had already gone down her throat.

Fortunately, this was ancient times and the water was pure and untainted. Had it been a modern fishpond, a few gulps might not have killed her but would’ve certainly made her sick.

Standing on the stone, Liu Ling’er clapped her hands and grinned. “Since Lady Rong is so eager for a swim, I can hardly refuse your command. Rest assured, Your Highness, no one usually comes here. You can thrash about as you please—whether you want to swim like a cat or paddle like a dog, it’s all up to you!”

Hmph! Trying to pin some trumped-up charge of insubordination on me in public? Do you think you can slander me as you please? Since you’re so hell-bent on framing me, I’ll simply turn your false accusation into reality—don’t let all your wasted breath and brain cells be in vain.

Wu Rong’er, head down, spluttered and swallowed several mouthfuls of water before struggling to right herself, half her body emerging from the pond. Liu Ling’er couldn’t help but notice—Wu Rong’er was clearly a landlubber, unable to swim in the slightest!

What left Liu Ling’er speechless was that, even in this state, Wu Rong’er was stubbornly defiant, refusing to beg for mercy and spitting venom instead. “Liu Ling’er, you wretched little brat—glug—how dare you try to murder me… I… will never… let you get away with this…”

“I’ll haunt you even in death…” Liu Ling’er’s lips curled into a cold smile. Excellent, truly admirable—I’ve always liked people with spirit.

Before long, the spirited Wu Rong’er reached her limit. “Somebody help! Save me!” she cried desperately.

Liu Ling’er smiled sweetly at her. “Sister Rong, would you like to come up?” Wu Rong’er wanted nothing more, but every time she opened her mouth, she swallowed more water, so in terror, she clamped her lips shut.

Liu Ling’er saw her head dipping lower and lower, and with a click of her tongue, fished her out in one swift motion. Wu Rong’er gasped for breath, water gurgling from her mouth—a most comical sight.

But this slow learner, as soon as she’d caught her breath, shot Liu Ling’er a venomous glare and spat, “Liu Ling’er, you little wretch, you’ll die a miserable death!”

Liu Ling’er felt a headache coming on. Why did people in ancient times have only that one insult in their repertoire? Couldn’t they be a little more creative? She released her hold, and the hapless Wu Rong’er flailed back into the water once more.