Chapter Forty-Seven: The First Snow of 1997

Dong Yanyan burst out laughing, tapping the table as she said, “Yang Xiaohai, you must be the Invincible East!”

“You’re the Invincible East!” Yang Xiaohai leapt over the table to the back row, and with a quick swipe, dusted Dong Yanyan’s face with chalk dust.

Dong Yanyan didn’t want to quarrel with him. She shot him a glare and ignored him. This guy, relying on his harmless appearance, took liberties everywhere, and she deeply despised it. She resolved not to keep company with such a black sheep anymore.

“Hey? Isn’t this Lin Feng’s poetry collection? Why is it with you?” Yang Xiaohai, with lightning hands, snatched the collection and started flipping through it. Dong Yanyan reached out to grab it back, but failed several times. Inside, she had tucked the letter she had just written, intending to find an opportunity to give it to Lin Feng. Anxious, her face turned grim as she stamped her foot and shouted, “If you don’t give it back, I’m really going to lose my temper!”

“Lin Feng’s stuff isn’t yours, so why should I give it to you? Why are you sneaking a look at his poetry collection?” Yang Xiaohai retorted loudly and confidently.

Several classmates were still sitting up front. Dong Yanyan felt her face flush with embarrassment. She watched as Yang Xiaohai swaggered about, brandishing the poetry collection, and she feared her letter would fall out at any moment.

“Fine then, please do me the favor of returning it to Lin Feng. If you do it well, I’ll give you a generous reward! Otherwise, don’t bother coming back to see me!” she said seriously.

“No problem! Treat me to ice cream!” Yang Xiaohai grinned cheekily, taking the notebook with him as he left.

Dong Yanyan watched him swagger upstairs, a sudden unease welling up within her, leaving her anxious the whole afternoon.

She found it ridiculous herself: to still be so childish, blushing and heart racing at the slightest thing—what an accomplishment!

*

Dong Yanyan had imagined every possible outcome, except this one: her love letter, once sent, vanished without a trace. Lin Feng acted as if nothing had happened—he still sent flirtatious glances, spoke ambiguous words, but never made any further move.

Taking all these reactions together, and based on her hard-earned experience from online forums, Dong Yanyan sadly concluded that her deep feelings were misplaced. Either he didn’t like her, or he was simply accustomed to flirting with girls, no matter who they were. In theory, she should have withdrawn immediately.

But that was only in theory. When you truly like someone, you’re utterly ensnared. Even if he’s a scoundrel, in your eyes, he’s a god.

There is no reason for it at all!

*

On Sunday afternoon, Dong Yanyan and Xinran sat quietly in the city library’s reading room, flipping through books in silence. Xinran wasn’t the fashionable type; in this age awash with career advice books, she preferred magazines about UFOs and mysteries.

Dong Yanyan was reading The Complete Tang Dynasty Records, though in truth, she hadn’t absorbed a single word. Inside the book, she had slipped a small mirror. She tilted her head left, then right. Youth was a blessing; even with a troubled expression, her complexion was still clear and radiant. Her only flaw was her short stature. She smiled self-deprecatingly, then lowered her head, a little crestfallen.

“Vain, aren’t you!” Xinran turned her head and laughed.

Dong Yanyan sighed and replied with a smile, “Vain? I’d call it self-pity, you know? I’m hungry, let’s go back.”

Xinran touched her stomach; she was probably hungry too, and stood up to pack her things.

Dong Yanyan found herself loving Xinran’s silly, adorable demeanor.

The two of them ran downstairs from the second floor, only to discover a gentle snow beginning to fall outside. Dong Yanyan loved snow, thinking it the best embellishment for a cold winter’s day. Strolling in the snow—how romantic! Without such a thought to cling to, how else could one survive those bone-chilling winters—cold, damp, and howling with wind?

Excited, she grabbed Xinran’s hand and dashed outside, pushing open the glass door—when suddenly, she saw two people holding hands, a rush of cold wind at their backs, laughing as they ran inside. They greeted her with cheerful grins. Dong Yanyan was instantly petrified. It seemed that, throughout her life, whenever she felt happy, someone would always show up at just the right moment to rain on her parade.

“Yanyan, you’re here too?!” Lin Feng brushed snowflakes off his coat and smiled in surprise.

Yang Lili also brushed off her coat, wrapped her arm around Lin Feng’s waist, and smiled at her. “What a coincidence! You came to read too!”

Dong Yanyan stared at the happy couple before her, her heart plummeting into an abyss. She felt she ought to be frozen, heartbroken, or at least stunned, but instead, she instinctively swapped her stiff expression for a standard smile, her tone warmer than a spring breeze. “Yes, what a coincidence. You two should hurry inside—it’s cold out. We’re heading off!”

She grabbed Xinran’s hand and dashed away, even turning back to wave them a cheerful goodbye.

A professional habit—the ability to change her face faster than she could turn a page.

It wasn’t until she squeezed onto the bus that she became absent-minded, and then the heartache set in. It was laughable, really. Even after traveling back, she was still in the same skin, with the same ordinary features. He hadn’t liked her before, and he wouldn’t now; she hadn’t been his type then, so why should she expect to be now? Such is the dream of a fool. The regrets of the past remained regrets even now. Still, why did her heart remain so unwilling to let go?

Lost in thought, she brushed her backpack and suddenly felt a hand. Instinctively, she slapped it away, turned, and yelled at the would-be thief, “I’m in a terrible mood today! Get lost, you damn pickpocket!”

Her shout was so loud that not only did the thief jump, but the entire bus fell instantly silent. The bus braked to a stop at the next station, and the thief seized the chance to jump off. Only then did the other passengers start checking for missing belongings.

Dong Yanyan was left shaken, realizing only now the danger—if the pickpockets these days were more ruthless, she could have been stabbed in a panic. Xinran, worried, said, “Yanyan, check if you lost anything!” and started to help her open her backpack.

Dong Yanyan felt the zipper had been halfway undone and smiled wryly. “Don’t worry—I definitely didn’t lose anything.” She was sure of it, because she hadn’t lost anything back then either. This was her only encounter with a pickpocket on a bus, so it stood out in her memory.

The only difference was that this time, she actually cursed the thief out loud. Perhaps she had finally fulfilled that old wish.

You see, when fate gives you a slap, it always finds a way to make it up to you with a sweet date.

*

By the time she returned to school, it was already mealtime. On weekends, the school served two meals: one at nine in the morning, another at three in the afternoon—miss them and you went hungry. Scattered classmates lingered at the cafeteria doors, chatting with their metal bowls in hand.

Dong Yanyan wrapped her coat tighter, feeling cold. She thought she should buy a down jacket soon... Oh, but given her financial situation, a down jacket was a luxury—better to get a cotton coat. Back then, she wore a cotton coat through four winters.

The winter she’d just had Lulu, life had been chaotic and bitter. Xu Cheng, trying to cheer her up after getting his year-end bonus, bought her a red down jacket—beautiful and warm. She was happy for days.

“I must, must buy a down jacket—I can’t keep making myself suffer!” She muttered, cheeks puffed out.

Though she wanted to be good to herself, when night fell and all was quiet, she still couldn’t help but cry under her blankets. She knew her first love was hopeless yet again, but she still thought of him—remembered the first time she saw him standing at the front of the classroom, smiling as he said, “Hello everyone, I’m Lin Feng. From today onward, we’ll be studying together.” That familiar smile had been enough to make her fall, utterly and completely.

For those two years, she always searched for him with furtive glances, stealing an extra look whenever she could. The small joys and small sorrows of those days—only those who have lived through it can truly understand how hard it was to endure.