Chapter Seventy: Afraid of Loneliness

Dong Yanyan and Liu Siying soon grew drowsy and ended up taking a short nap on her bed. She was awakened by someone gently shaking her. Opening her eyes, she saw the glaring white ceiling light, and squinting again, she found Tiantian standing at her bedside.

“Big sister, if you want to sleep, go back to our dorm,” Tiantian said, pulling her up. Still groggy, Dong Yanyan sat up and saw Liu Siying entering with a washbasin. She glanced at her watch—it was nearly nine in the evening. Looking around, she noticed several of the dorm residents had already returned.

“Siying, I’m heading out now.” She threw off her quilt and jumped out of bed, following Tiantian back to their dorm. She climbed onto her own bed, hoping to continue sleeping.

But Tiantian tugged her leg, pulling her down with a playful pout. “Don’t sleep anymore! Come dance with me on the sixth floor!”

“It’s almost nine. The party must be ending soon. Why bother? I’m not going!” Dong Yanyan leaned against the bedpost, sounding impatient.

“You don’t know? Tonight, some of our classes managed to get the teachers to let us have electricity all night. It’s so lively upstairs! If you don’t come, I’ll go by myself. Don’t be scared alone in the dorm,” Tiantian teased with a laugh.

“Really? Then I’d better go. Wait a sec, I’ll change.” Dong Yanyan had no desire to be alone in this eerie room. She opened her wardrobe and changed into a beige high-necked sweater she had just bought. The style was simple, but the sleeves were lovely—long, flared cuffs embroidered with delicate cutouts that covered half her hands, making her look adorable.

She brushed her short hair, which just reached her ears, but still looked a little tired in the mirror. She grabbed her makeup bag from her bed and dabbed lip gloss on.

“You’re so pretty, Big Sister!” Tiantian said sweetly.

Dong Yanyan glanced at her. Tiantian’s delicate brows and eyes were lightly made up. She wore a short, smoky denim jacket with exaggerated flared pants in the same color. On her feet were thick platform shoes, making her look full of energy.

“Don’t wear such high shoes next time. You’re the only one who makes me feel even remotely equal in height, but now you’ve already left me behind.” Dong Yanyan wiped her little leather shoes, then led Tiantian out, locking the dorm behind them.

*

As soon as they reached the sixth floor, they were met with booming music. They pushed open the door and entered a brightly lit room with a stage at its center. Ren Jiaxuan and Yang Lili were dancing the cha-cha, surrounded by a crowd bouncing enthusiastically.

Dong Yanyan spotted Li Hui and Song Mingcheng mixing in the crowd and couldn’t help but laugh.

Xiao Han saw them come in and joyfully pulled Tiantian away to dance. Dong Yanyan noticed Liu Ying sitting alone by the window and went over to join her.

Seeing who it was, Liu Ying gave up her seat and went off to chat with Jiang Fan. Left alone, Dong Yanyan gazed out the window, watching the reflections of the lively room inside. It felt as if she could open the window and step into a mirrored world. Bored, she actually did open the window and leaned out, looking at the myriad lights beyond the campus. A gust of wind made her shiver, so she quickly closed the window.

The song ended. The music slowed, the lights dimmed, and a circular spotlight threw colored dots onto the stage floor.

Ren Jiaxuan, with his arm around Yang Lili, slid once more to the center. The two of them seemed intimately engrossed in conversation.

Dong Yanyan scanned the room for Lin Feng but realized he hadn’t come at all.

Someone came over to invite her to dance. She looked up—it was Wang Yunpeng, a senior from the Class of ‘95, who would later be Xu Cheng’s colleague. She stood up gladly and joined him on the dance floor. At this time, he was trim and still a little handsome, a far cry from the disheveled, chain-smoking, hard-drinking man he would become ten years later.

Back then, students had neither the internet nor online games, and few places for entertainment. So the weekend gathering had become the perfect opportunity for boys and girls to mingle and fall in love.

But Dong Yanyan wasn’t in the mood, especially not with someone who, in the past, used to drag her husband out drinking—she had even less interest. She recalled how every time Xu Cheng came home late, they would argue, only to discover later that it was this guy who was always pulling him away for drinks. She never had a good impression of him, and despite his being her senior, she was always lukewarm at best, which made Xu Cheng embarrassed. Wang Yunpeng, however, didn’t care and always called her “sister-in-law” with annoying familiarity. Looking back, she realized she’d been quite willful in those days.

Lost in her thoughts, she suddenly caught a faint whiff of alcohol. Sniffing again, she was sure—he’d been drinking!

When the song ended, she quietly slipped toward the door for some air; she wasn’t interested in dancing, only in soaking up the lively atmosphere. Only in such crowds did she feel a sense of belonging. Leaning against the half-open door, she tilted her head to watch the excitement inside.

Suddenly, the door burst open from the inside with a bang, pushing her aside. If she hadn’t grabbed the doorframe, she would have fallen.

“Who’s so blind? Can’t you see someone’s behind the door?” she shouted angrily. Then she remembered this wasn’t her class, and there were plenty of seniors with bad tempers inside. Time to make a quiet exit! Rubbing her sore arm, she tried to slip away in the shadows, but as she bent down, someone grabbed her arm from behind and pulled her outside.

Turning around, she found it was Ren Jiaxuan and let out a sigh of relief, standing up straight.

“If you hadn’t shouted, I wouldn’t have found you. Why are you leaving so soon after arriving?” Ren Jiaxuan frowned. “Look at the time—why are you so late?”

She looked at him—clad in a thin shirt and trousers, sweat beading on his brow. Clearly, he’d been having a great time.

“What’s wrong with being late? Go ahead, dock my points if you can!” she teased.

“I’m not as capable as you. And why lean on the door? Aren’t you afraid you’ll get hurt again?” Ren Jiaxuan pulled her to the corridor, gave his hair a stylish toss, and grinned. “By the way, I’ve handled that issue with Lili for you.”

“Oh? And how did you solve it?” Dong Yanyan’s mouth twitched with worry. She didn’t expect him to use any gentle tactics, yet Yang Lili hadn’t seemed upset—she’d looked quite happy dancing with him earlier.

“I simply proved that the ten points you gave me were well-deserved. I reasoned with her, touched her with emotion, and even sang for her. She admitted it sounded good and said you have great taste.” Ren Jiaxuan laughed.

Dong Yanyan stared at him in surprise. “Don’t tell me she had to listen to you ramble all night. That’s really tragic for her.”

Ren Jiaxuan’s expression darkened dangerously. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I mean you might as well have taken her to karaoke—that would have been more straightforward!” Dong Yanyan laughed.

“That’s a good idea! Why don’t I take you to sing instead?” Ren Jiaxuan suggested, smiling.

His words sparked her interest, and she readily agreed, “Sure! I haven’t been out for a breath of fresh air in ages!”

They hit it off immediately and headed downstairs. On the fifth floor, Dong Yanyan realized he hadn’t changed clothes. “Aren’t you going to freeze in that outfit? Go change into something warmer. I’ll wait by the stairs,” she said, stopping him.

“Oh, right, I forgot. Wait a moment!” Ren Jiaxuan dashed back to his dorm and reemerged soon after, bundled in a thick down jacket.

On the first floor, Dong Yanyan returned to her own dorm to put on her down jacket and grabbed her black backpack. It was already half past nine. She left a note for Leng Yue, letting her know she might be home late and asking her to keep the door unlocked, then locked up and hurried out to meet Ren Jiaxuan.

Ren Jiaxuan’s car was parked in the school yard. He asked the gatekeeper to open the gate, and the car rolled slowly out of the campus.

Sitting in the warm car, cruising down the brightly lit street, Dong Yanyan let out a contented sigh and turned on the car radio, tuning it to 96.8. At this hour, Lin Lan was hosting her show for night owls.

“There’s a pretty good karaoke place on Third Avenue. How about we go there?” Ren Jiaxuan glanced at her.

She smiled. “Sure. I never know where anything is anyway. I’ll go wherever you say.”

In truth, she didn’t often go singing. Her first time at a karaoke bar was with Xinran, who had just gotten a decent boyfriend. Nervous about meeting his friends, Xinran made her practice singing for days beforehand.

Later, online group deals made KTV tickets dirt cheap, so she’d occasionally tag along with friends, but she never had much free time or the right mood for it.

Ren Jiaxuan noticed her silence and asked softly, “What are you thinking about?”

Dong Yanyan snapped out of her reverie and turned to look at his profile. The streetlights outside flashed by, casting a soft glow on his face, making him look especially handsome. She had always thought men looked their best when driving or smoking, so she stole a couple more glances. Not wanting to seem obvious, she joked, “I just remembered a funny story. Once a guy was speeding and saw a traffic cop waving him down. He slammed the brakes, rolled down the window, and impatiently asked, ‘What’s up?’ The cop replied, ‘Two things. First, you just ran over my foot. Second, the cop who called you down was at the last intersection!’”

Ren Jiaxuan laughed, braked, and stopped the car. He got out to open her door. Dong Yanyan stepped out and saw that the place was quite spacious, with a hostess at the door to welcome them. Ren Jiaxuan booked a private room and led her upstairs.

The room was warm. They tossed their jackets on the sofa, grabbed the song menu, and began choosing songs with great excitement.

“I think we should start with a duet. How about ‘Heart’s Rain’?” Ren Jiaxuan suggested.

“No, that one’s too depressing. Let’s do ‘Love in the Wind and Rain’—I like Jacky Cheung,” Dong Yanyan said, blowing into the microphone.

“That one’s not depressing?” Ren Jiaxuan laughed, selecting the song. “Fine, let’s go with that.”

They sang the duet with real passion, and Dong Yanyan realized the acoustics in this place were amazing. For a moment, she almost felt like a superstar.