Chapter 136: A Night of Inner Conflict

When Mom saw the impatience on her face, her expression darkened again. Dong Yanyan knew at once that trouble was brewing. Whenever the old woman became upset, she could stay angry for several days. And when she was angry, she would stop speaking; sometimes she would not even eat. It was exasperating.

Fortunately, Dad stepped in to smooth things over. “Yanyan knows what she’s doing. She got two perfect scores last time. No matter how hard she works, can she score more than a hundred? You’re simply never satisfied.”

“Exactly, exactly. Mom, you have to trust me.” Dong Yanyan slipped her arms around her mother’s neck and smiled affectionately.

Under ordinary circumstances, such intimacy between mother and daughter would have been perfectly natural. But after everything she had been through, Dong Yanyan’s heart had nearly gone cold. She could no longer feel genuinely close to her mother.

Thankfully, her mother finally smiled. Dong Yanyan let out a sigh of relief and was at last able to sleep in peace.

In the middle of the night, the heat woke her. In winter, sleeping on a heated brick bed in the countryside meant scorching heat beneath the quilt and bitter cold above it. Her mother was exceptionally afraid of the cold, so ever since childhood Dong Yanyan had developed the habit of getting up in the middle of the night, rolling up the quilt to let the heat escape, and waiting until it had cooled before going back to sleep.

As usual, she carefully rolled up the quilt. The heated bed was so hot it burned her feet, almost enough to roast her alive. She put on her clothes and switched on the light, scanning the room. Then she pulled the stuffed bear from near her feet and dragged it beneath the covers. She lay on top of it and went back to sleep. That way, she would not feel so hot, and the bear was soft and comfortable besides.

When she opened her eyes the next morning, the first thing she saw was the frost flowers on the window. During the bitterest Northeastern winters, frost often crystallized across the panes into beautiful patterns, transforming the windows into a world clad in silver. As a child, she had often stared at them in fascination. Some looked like forests, some like seaweed, and others like beds of flowers. They were vivid and exquisitely layered—the wondrous handiwork of nature, far more beautiful than anything made by human hands.

Beside her, Nannan poked her little head out of the quilt and pointed excitedly at the frost flowers. “That one looks like a puppy! And that one looks like a bunny!”

Dong Yanyan could not help sighing over how rich a child’s imagination was. No matter how hard she looked, she could not make out a single little animal.

“Big Sis, can I hold your teddy bear for a while?” Nannan said, crawling into her bed and tugging at the stuffed bear beneath her.

Dong Yanyan laughed at her clumsy efforts. The bear was bigger than Nannan herself.

“Nannan, you really need to work on growing taller.” Dong Yanyan pinched her nose with a grin. She had overlooked it this time, but next time she went to the provincial capital, she would bring Nannan some calcium tablets. Children were growing quickly at this age, and they had to get proper nutrition. She wondered whether the little shop sold milk. She would buy a whole case for her in town over the weekend. She only hoped the milk from this period wasn’t poisonous.

The two sisters were still playing when the door opened and warm air from the kitchen poured in. Dad’s booming voice came from the doorway.

“You’re both awake! I’m setting the table in the other room. Hurry up and come wash your faces. Don’t fold the quilts yet. Your mother can do that after breakfast!”

Their parents had always considered keeping the girls well fed and warmly dressed more important than anything else. Dong Yanyan knew that if she did not get up soon, her mother would nag her several more times. Reluctantly, she left the warmth of the bed and quickly got dressed.

When she pushed open the inner-room door, the kitchen’s cooking steam had filled the corridor, obscuring everything in a haze. A thick layer of white frost covered the outer door. She steeled herself and pushed it open. A blast of icy air rushed into her face, making her shiver.

She hurried back inside, put on Dad’s padded coat, and ran behind the house to the toilet. Rural toilets were all outdoors. Other seasons were manageable, but in the depths of winter, going to the bathroom became an ordeal. Dong Yanyan rushed there and rushed back, the tip of her nose already bright red from the cold.

In the kitchen, Mom had already prepared warm water in a washbasin and set it on the stand. The steaming water felt wonderful against Dong Yanyan’s face, so she simply washed her hair as well.

When she returned to the inner room with a towel wrapped around her head, Mom began lecturing her again. “Yanyan, why did you wash your hair first thing in the morning? It’s freezing! What if you catch a cold?”

Only then did Dong Yanyan realize that it was indeed rather cold. She had nearly forgotten how bitter rural winters could be. The apartment buildings in the city had central heating, so no matter how low the outdoor temperature fell, the rooms remained warm. The countryside was different. People lived in detached houses, and the outer doors were constantly being opened and closed, allowing the heat to escape quickly. Even when the heated brick bed was blazing, the air remained cold.

Their house had been newly built when they moved in, and the walls had not fully dried. Then the flood had soaked them. Even now, glittering white frost could still be seen on the walls.

“I forgot. I won’t wash it like this next time.” Not wanting her mother to become angry again, she hurried to admit her mistake.

After breakfast, she helped Mom clean the kitchen and tidy the house. Her parents watched with smiles as she hurried from one place to another with a rag in hand.

“Yanyan’s finally learned how to work!” Dad said with satisfaction.

“Listen to you. You make it sound as though I never did any work before.” Dong Yanyan laughed as she wiped the windowsill.

“What work did you ever do? You wouldn’t even clear the table.” Dad laughed.

“What? No way. Was I really that useless?” Dong Yanyan frowned as she tried to remember. Vaguely, she seemed to recall that when she was in middle school, Mom had been afraid housework would interfere with her studies and had refused to let her do anything. She had even washed Dong Yanyan’s school uniform for her.

Ah, the selfless hearts of parents. Yet sometimes, loving a child too much was another way of harming them. As a helplessly inept housekeeper, Dong Yanyan had suffered plenty after graduation. She could not cook, could not tidy a room, and, as a junior employee just starting work, had possessed not the slightest sense of when to step in. It was not that she had been unwilling to help; whenever others were busy, she simply could not find a way to lend a hand. And on the rare occasions when she did, she only made a mess of things. They would have been better off without her help.

“That’s why children shouldn’t be spoiled,” she said with deep feeling. “If they grow up unable to do anything, life will be even harder once they’re thrown into society.”

Mom shot her a look and scolded, “So spoiling you became a crime?”

“I didn’t say that. But if you’re going to spoil me, you might as well do it for the rest of my life.” Dong Yanyan grinned.

Mom laughed too. “Who can stay with you for your whole life? Once you marry and start a family, are you planning to take your mother along with you?”

Dong Yanyan shrugged. “See? Somehow, you always manage to make your argument sound right.”

There was a sound from the outer room—the door opening. Dong Yanyan glanced through the glass and saw a tall girl in a blue down jacket running inside.

Although they had not seen each other for many years, she recognized her at once: Li Juan, her middle-school classmate.

In truth, the two of them had never been especially close back then. Li Juan had been a tomboyish girl with an outgoing personality and a fondness for talking. She got along well with both teachers and classmates, so although her grades were ordinary, she had an exceptionally strong presence.

Dong Yanyan, by contrast, had been quiet and introverted. Li Juan, who had a forceful personality, was always telling her what to do and instructing her on how to handle things. Dong Yanyan had been stubborn, however, and the more Li Juan interfered, the more irritating she found it. In the end, she had simply kept her distance, remaining neither warm nor cold toward her.